THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
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The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
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I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize