Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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