i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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