so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
