i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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