oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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