the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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