At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
