you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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