My brain says no but my pants say off.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize