I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
