Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
