All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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