Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
