Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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