Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
grandma shit on top of the toilet
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
