Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He felt like a one man threesome
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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