its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
handjob tips. give me some.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
