her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
