My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
