DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
