I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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