its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
