when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
