I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize