She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
