the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
