Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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