Soap is not a condiment
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize