she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
