Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Someone came in the potted fern
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
