Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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