Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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