Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
NoShamevember. You game?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
