Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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