We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
