I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
