dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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