There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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