No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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