maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
