Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
