Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I am available for nakedness
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
