Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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