You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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