Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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