she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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