Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize