): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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