I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
