Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
