The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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