My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
