do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
They have beer where we have blood.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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