Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
