I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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